Irritated with the recent furore created by the Aam Aadmi Party and
Lord Mayor Chief Minister of Delhi Arvind Kejriwal over the educational qualifications of Prime Minister Narendra Modi, the Election Commission of India has finally decided that henceforth, the only qualification that a Politician will need is to clear a new Entrance Examination. Officially called the Political Entrance Exam - India, and abbreviated to I-PEE, the exam will be made mandatory for anyone who wants to enter politics. An unnamed source in the ECI has confirmed details and stated that the syllabus for the examination will include crucial skills like Fooling People, Mudslinging, Giving and Withdrawing support to other parties and a mandatory section on Secularism. The source also confirmed that the papers will be set by the Supreme Court themselves and will be corrected by former Judge Markandey Katju who will decide whether the candidate falls in the 90% of Indians are fools category or not. A special quota will also be given to minorities, mainly for those with poor attendance in the Parliament or Assembly and those whose names have been linked to major scams in the past.
Calling it a victory for Democracy, Kejriwal stated, "Ab Modi ji ki nahi chalegi, such Psycopath people won't be tolerated", before heading out to a movie theatre with Manish Sisodia and Kumar Vishwas where he was hit with a chappal flung by someone who ultimately turned out to be an AAP member. Close aide to Kejriwal, The Ashutosh said, "The Modi has no option. I will personally check his PEE, and see whether he is illegeible or not", before shedding crocodile tears. AAP supporters turned to Social Media and declared it as a victory to Democracy before getting back to hurling abuses at BJP supporters.
BJP leaders lauded the move, adding that it would improve transparency in governance. "Achhe din aa gaye hain", tweeted PM Modi. Minister for Urban Development, M Venkaiah Naidu excitedly announced plans for the Central Public Works Department to build a new examination centre with state of the art anti-cheating facilities. Railway Minister Suresh Prabhu and Minister for Road Transport and Highways Nitin Gadkari unveiled grand plans to build a new railway line and expressway to the examination centre.
Congress leaders however were not too enthused by the new move. "This is all a scam to prevent Rahul baba from coming to power", said Sanjay Jha, while Digvijaya Singh reiterated that it was an RSS conspiracy to damage the secular fabric of the country. Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar said he'd take the test only if wearing a Skull Cap and Tilak were mandatory for the Secularism test.
Note: This article is satire and should not be taken seriously.