Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

– Doc Emmett L Brown, 27th October, 1985.

Fast forward to 21st October, 2015. Today. The day of the flying cars, Jaws 19, and Hoverboards.

Of course, there are no flying cars. Atleast not yet. I’m personally upset that while there was word of Nike’s Shoes with Powerlaces, I don’t have an auto-adjusting jacket that dries itself when wet. But enough of flying cars, we all know that’s still going to cause traffic jams, on the Skyway instead of the Highway. We have already seen a 100km long traffic jam in China, and with the number of cars being added to the roads each day, I won’t be surprised to see the same on the Western Express Highway. If flying cars did exist, expect a massive jam on the Western Express Skyway.

Now given that I am a Bus Aficionado, let us change our focus to buses. Right now, the closest we have got to Back To The Future is a Metro Rail, which is a railway line above the ground. Or, as they refer to the MRTS line in Madras, “Parrakum Rayil” [Flying Rail].

If Flying Vehicles existed in 2015, like BTTF predicted.

• Western Railways and Central Railways would be plying flying trains from Chruchgate to Virar, or CST to Karjat and Kasara. Striking workers and rioters would have to tie themselves up to each other and suspend themselves, but the train would skirt them. Thankfully.
• Idiots who drive like maniacs on the ground will do the same thing in the air. The impact of accidents may be worse because you’d fall a long way, but atleast people on the pavements won’t get run over.
• BEST will operate them flying Purple Faeries on two types of routes: AS [AC Standard] and AExpress. AS-1 will fly on the Service lanes of the Eastern Express Skyway while A8Express will fly over all traffic. Don’t ask me how they intend to keep coming down to pick up passengers. Of course, they will continue to be loss making due to lack of passengers.
• NMMT will continue to flood the Mumbai skyline with its fancy Volvo buses, introducing new routes from Worli to Navasari and Mulund to Dehu Road.
• TMT will continue to operate it smokey, rickety rattle-trap buses, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear news of accidents caused due to the bus parts falling down.
• The Bandra Worli Sea Link would become a place where homeless people hang out.
• Thanks to technological advancements, the Metro tracks would be in a condition similar to that of IRs tracks with people using it as their personal loo.
• Autos will fly and cause traffic jams. Some of them would be replaced by Tata Nanos. Don’t worry, Tata Nanos won’t catch fire in the air.
• Jaywalkers will find a way to jump across the street, so high up.
• MSRTC’s Shivneri will reach Pune faster. The Dadar (East) to Pune Railway Station journey will take 3 hours instead of the current 4 hour trip because of the sheer number of cars flying around Lonavala. Don’t forget flying cars selling Maganlal Chikki.
• KSRTC’s Airavat will take 12 hours on the Bombay to Bangalore route. The Hubli Dharwad Skypass is still two lanes.
• Ashok Leyland will flood the Skies with the SKiBus.
• The Andheri flyover will be used by people on Hoverboards.
• Dadar will continue to be a mess because of flying trains, buses, cars, taxis, everything. Kabootar Khaana would be the root cause of Congestion.

Note. I was originally intending to Photoshop a Cerita in the sky over the Western Express Highway, but it would have looked way too tacky. I’m laughing as I type this.