Satire: In Absence Of Depot, Metro 3 To Run BEST Buses In Tunnel

In a stunning revelation, it has been revealed that the current Maharashtra government may consider running buses in the tunnels of Mumbai Metro’s famed Line 3 project.

Without the controversial SEEPZ depot, the metro cannot be operational since it won’t have a place to park trains and carry out their maintenance. In order to sort this mess out, the government has decided that they will run BEST buses in the pair of 33.5km long tunnels.

Confirming the developments, an official on the condition of anonymity said that BEST had already been running buses in tunnels for almost a decade and this would be nothing new. “We’ve run buses on the Eastern Freeway, they’ve taken the flyover and the tunnels, what is new?”, he said.

He added that while initial proposals involve letting buses drive into the tunnels at the Sariput Nagar ramp in Jogeshwari, there are plans to set up additional ones at Bandra-Kurla Complex and the Airport as well. The government may also set up a crane to lower the bus into the tunnel so buses need not run only in them, he added. The plan is apparently to run the mini-bus fleet in the tunnel, from what we gathered.

When asked, where the idea came from, he directed the questions to another officer, who on the condition of anonymity as well, gave us an answer. “With everything operating at half capacity right now, some of us looked for other ways to spend our time. I opened Google Earth to see the Attari-Wagah border and then continued on that road to Lahore where I saw a BRTS on a flyover. We then went for lunch, and when I came back, one of my colleagues showed me Elon Musk’s Boring Company”, he said.

You see, Lahore BRTS has a long elevated stretch. If they run a bus on that, why can’t we run a bus in our metro tunnels? We’ve run buses inside the tunnel on the Eastern Freeway?

The officer

When asked about the inspiration from Elon Musk, he said that Musk’s plan was the first to have tunnels under a city and run regular vehicles in them. When pointed out that Musk had a change of heart in 2018 and decided to allow public transport through the system, he responded with “That’s why we’re planning on running buses in them”.

When asked about what would happen about the 31 trains ordered from Alstom, we were told “Jab aaega, tab dekha jaega” (We’ll see about it when they arrive). A third official even dropped a comment that they may be sold to the Mumbai Suburban Rail. We don’t know if he realises that they run on different track gauges.

Whatever, happens, let us hope that Mumbai finally gets the public transport it deserves.

Note: To know how a crane would be used to lift a bus in and out, see this video on how a crane is being used to lift a tractor off the metro viaduct.

Please note: This article is satire and should be treated as such.

Become a Patron!

If you intend to step out, whether to board on minibus or metro, please wear a mask, carry sanitizer and maintain social distancing.

Also Read:

Stuck In Traffic? Here’s Elon Musk’s Boring Way To Move Vehicles

What The Boring Company Now Has In Store For Mass Transit

Featured image: Sitting in a BEST A-8 Express (yes, Purple Faeries) through the BARC tunnels on the Eastern Freeway.

Loading

Flattr this!

After Offering To Ferry Patients, BEST Converts Mini-Buses To Ambulances

Nearly two weeks after BEST offered to ferry passengers to hospitals, the undertaking has now converted seven of its mini-buses into basic ambulances for Wuhan Coronavirus patients, reports Rajendra Aklekar.

As reported by Mr Aklekar, BESTs workshops have built a completely air-tight partition between the rear section of the bus and the driver’s section. All seats have been removed and the rear emergency door is being used to access the bus.

From being the city’s lifeline, BEST is now the city’s life-saver. We hope to see more buses pressed into action to beat this pandemic in the days to come.

The Municipal Corporation of Greater Mumbai/Brihanmumbai Municipal Corproation (MCGM/BEST) put out an entire list of what the mini-buses are doing.

Buses are being used to transfer asympotamatics, and carry perishable items.

Also, on 14 April, Google put out a Doodle thanking Public Transportation Workers.

Google Doodle thanking Public Transportation workers
Google Doodle thanking Public Transportation workers

That’s all from me now. Say hello to Mumbai’s mini-ambulances.

Also Read: This Is How BEST Is Helping Fight The Pandemic

Also Listen: [Public Service Announcement] – Giving Way to an Ambulance

Please do consider becoming a patron on Patreon to help keep this blog alive.

Become a Patron!

Featured Image: BEST minibus at Dadar (Vishal/Twitter)

You can view the original image here

Loading

Flattr this!

Satire: BEST To Capitalise On CM’s New-Found Fame, Will Feature His Face On All New Buses

As the Covid-19 pandemic keeps Mumbaikars in a Lockdown, the Brihanmumbai Electricity Supply and Transport Undertaking (BEST) has decided that it will work on a new public relations campaign to improve its services.

Capitalising on CM Udhhav Thackeray’s newfound popularity as the ‘BEST CM’, the undertaking has decided to use his photographs on all its buses henceforth.

Uddhav Thackeray’s handling of the pandemic in Maharashtra has earned him praise from Bollywood (who generally know nothing), parts of the media (who also generally know nothing) and his own allies (who know everything). The only person so far unhappy over the Shiv Sena leader’s handling of the crises is former chief minister Devendra Fadnavis who has criticised his successor over the fact that Maharashtra is almost turning into a Hubei and Mumbai turning into Wuhan.

A search on Twitter for the hashtag #BestCMoftheWorld points directly to Uddhav Thackeray’s profile. While fans of other politicians including Tamil Nadu CM Edappadi K. Palaniswami (EPS), Telangana CM K Chandrasekhar Rao (KCR) and Delhi Lord Mayor Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal have used the hashtag to promote their leaders, none of them have stood out like the Sena leader.

The BEST undertaking has decided to capitalise on the CM’s new found fame, and will ensure that his face will be visible on all buses, reminding commuters of the same. “If Congress could claim India was Indira and Indira was India, why can’t we claim Uddhav is BEST and BEST is Uddhav?”, asked a Sena member when we approached them.

BEST had started using Thackeray’s images on their buses to promote the Pradhan Manti Awas Yojana in February, a move that irked the Bharatiya Janata Party over the omission of Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s photograph.

Please note: This article is satire and should be treated as such.

Featured image: Uddhav Thackeray’s iamge on a BEST Bus registered to the Vikhroli Depot (Ram Kadam/Twitter)

This post is dedicated to Ashwin S Kumar of TheUnrealTimes.

If you like this post, do consider supporting me on Patreon.

Become a Patron!

Loading

Flattr this!

This Is How BEST Is Helping Fight The Pandemic

With the Wuhan Virus pandemic getting worse thanks to “Special Operations” and “Single Source” events (politically correct terms for the Tableeghi Jamaat), governments are on a spree to fix the issue. While Maharashtra under the incumbent Maha Vinash Aghadi has completely messed up, there are a few silver linings, mainly thanks to the fact that Praveen Pardeshi is the Municipal Commissioner of Mumbai.

Here’s what BEST is doing to help fight the pandemic.

BEST has offered to ferry unescorted patients as a goodwill gesture. As reported by Rajendra Aklekar in Mid-Day, two buses from the Wadala depot are being used to ferry patients from the Podar Hospital in Worli to the MCGM’s Rajawadi Hospital in Ghatkopar.

Drivers aren’t too happy with the move, they claim the buses have not been disinfected. They have been given personal protective equipment (PPE) kits, but apparently don’t know how to use them. Ideally, the Health Ministry led by Rajesh Tope should step in and do the needful by training drivers. If cops in Yogi Adityanath’s Uttar Pradesh can be trained, why not Mumbai’s bus drivers?

Here is a pic of the drivers wearing their PPE gear.

BEST has also been using it’s AC minibuses to transport food packets. Seats have been removed and the air-conditioning is used to keep the food cool.

Well, so far so good eh?

A day later: thanks to HT Journalist Tanushree Venkatraman for reporting this.

BEST’s minibuses have been used to deliver sanitary napkins to various organisations across the city.

The MMRDA meanwhile has been using UPL Limited’s Falcon to spray Sodium Hypochlorite (NaOCl) in the Bandra Kurla Complex, when they should logically be disinfecting Andheri (West) (K-West ward) and Worli (G ward) where maximum cases have propped up. Guess this is what happens when the Chief Minister lives in Bandra East.

Well, that’s all from me for now.

Featured image; BEST’s postvans parked near the BSES/ Bhramakumari’s Hospital on SV Road/Palliram Path next to the K-West Ward office and Andheri pedestrian Subway.

Looking for some humour: Do read this:

Novel Uses Of BEST’s Purple Faeries

Or, you can try and take the BEST Quarantine Bingo Challenge!

Stuck At Home? Try The BEST Quarantine Challenge

Do consider supporting me on Patreon. You can support me with as little as $5 (₹380) per month.

Become a Patron!

Loading

Flattr this!

Once This Pandemic Is Over, We Should Look At How We Transact

The last few weeks have been rather worrisome for many businesses due to the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, not only because of the state of the economy but because they deal primarily in cash. A government notification in March also advised users to avoid cash and instead digital platforms as a safety measure. Viral videos on popular social platforms of people licking currency notes and wiping their noses with them has furthered the paranoia.

When Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced demonetisation in 2016, it did lead to a boom in digital transactions, especially with wallets such as Paytm but eventually with Google getting onto the Unified Payments Interface (UPI) bandwagon, cashless payments began to soar. As per data from the National Payments Corporation of India (NPCI), the UPI platform witnessed a record ₹1.31 billion in transactions in December 2019 with the total transaction value exceeding ₹2 trillion.

While demonetisation did not give digital transactions the necessary push – most people returned to cash once the shortage had ended – the ongoing pandemic may inadvertently do just that. A 2009 CNN report said that nearly 90 per cent of American currency had traces of cocaine on them. Given that hygiene is not a big issue in India yet, one can imagine the kind of substances that are present on Indian currency – it doesn’t have to be opioid, just dirt and germs.

This would be an ideal time for the government to slowly push for more digital transactions. With the 2019 Union budget doing away with merchant charges for merchants with an annual turnover of above ₹50 crore, the time is ripe for us to rethink stepping into the digital world. The sentiment isn’t restricted to India alone. An Op-Ed on Bloomberg highlights why Apple Pay is looking like a good alternative in the United States to both cash and credit cards. While Apple Pay is yet to enter India, we already have a host of digital payments systems, most of which are based atop NPCI’s UPI platform while some retain independent wallet-based mechanisms of their own.

The biggest hurdle however will continue to be the lack of banking access for many. A 2016 report by PriceWaterhouseCoopers stated that the number of Indians without a bank account went down from 557 million in 2011 to 233 million in 2015. Of these, 187 bank accounts were opened under the Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojaya (PMJDY) alone. While many of these accounts haven’t been used much since their opening, that is not a problem. While urban India can be persuaded to switch to UPI-based platforms, rural India can use the NPCI’s National Unified USSD Platform (NUUP)or *99# service that works with basic phones for smaller transactions. For those who don’t have mobile phones, the RuPay debit card is always there.

In order to start the shift to digital transactions, the challenge would not be with larger players but the smaller ones. The local grocer, tea stall and bakeries are what need to be targeted. Add to that the discounts offered by UPI apps such as Google Pay, Paytm or KhaaliJeb – the latter offers discounts to students – getting more people on the platform is relatively easier.

The next step would be to target the transit sector. While rail is generally covered with the Unreserved Ticketing System (UTS) app and metro rail is covered by smart cards and app-based systems, the focus should be on buses. Very few cities have managed to go completely digital in the field of bus ticketing, with Mumbai being the shining example. In order to better facilitate this, the Centre needs to rush the much-delayed National Common Mobility Card (NCMC) that was announced yet again in 2018. While urban bus services are easier to handle, the rural sector needs be prioritised as that is what will lead to a mass movement.

By targeting specific sectors, the financial sector has a higher chance of success rather than a generalised approach. In order to incentivise the shift, the Reserve Bank of India may need to slash a few transaction charges like 2016. Once the shift reaches critical mass, a sunset policy for incentives need to take over. Countries like Sweden allow traders and retailers to refuse cash under the Freedom of Contract and this needs to find a way into our legislation as well.

The biggest advantage of going cashless – not counting the associated risks of handling dirty money – is that it eliminates small loses in the form of lose change going missing. In the long run, it paves the way for the government to finally look at slowly doing away with Income Tax and replacing it with a Transaction Tax.

The ongoing pandemic has given us opportunities to take things forward to a new level, albeit unintentionally, and we should seize the moment and get things done.

If you liked this article, please do consider becoming a patron.

Become a Patron!

Loading

Flattr this!

The Covid-19 Pandemic Should Remind Us To Take Swachh Bharat Seriously

In 2014, when Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced the launch of the Swachh Bharat Mission (SBM), it was met with mockery from all circles. While the Opposition chose to call it a rebadged version of the previous government’s Nirmal Bharat Yojana, many questioned the government’s priorities. Indeed, SBM became the Modi government’s most highlighted campaign and has attracted a lot of feedback. It has been praised by many such as Bill Gates, while many chose to call its “coercive nature” an attack on freedom.

The rural component of SBM focussed on building toilets for villagers, and sadly many villagers didn’t take to using them. A Nikkei report however did speak of the fact that it helped women avoid having to out to the fields in the middle of the night, thus ensuring their privacy and safety.

On the urban front, the SBM is far more complex. It looks at tackling municipal solid waste – both collection and processing – and setting up more public toilets and included a crucial section on inculcating a behavioural change. The Swachh Sarvekshan sought to get cities into a friendly competition to see who does best, but that too has its constraints.

Let’s Make Bharat Swachh Again

We must understand that the Prime Minister cannot keep the entire country clean. That is not a possible scenario in a federal structure like ours where local governments may be run by different parties with different priorities. Furthermore, we as a collective society have come to expect our government to do everything, when the real change needs to begin with ourselves.

The fact that after nearly seventy years of independence, the Prime Minister had to prioritise Cleanliness and Sanitation as a national mission speaks volumes of our mindset as a collective group. At the same time, while many accuse SBM of being a rebadged version of previous programmes such as the Total Sanitation Campaign or Nirmal Bharat with more emphasis on advertising, one thing must be kept in mind – publicity works. Good public relations (PR) is important for anything to succeed, which is why currently, it looks like PM Modi is doing little with Kerala Chief Minister Pinarayi Vijayan comes across as a messiah.

Swachh Bharat And Covid-19

The most direct link between Swachh Bharat and the Wuhan Virus spread is the general levels of dirtiness in public spaces in urban India. The most common problems are littering and spitting in public, of which the latter is a bigger concern. Spitting has been a problem – once earning the Railways a whopping Rs 13,000 at a single railway station in West Bengal in a mere six hours. Spitting is also problematic since human saliva can carry the virus. Along with spitting, there are also numerous instances of people blowing their noses or sticking chewed gum on surfaces that are equally dangerous.

In rural areas, the concern is with people using open areas rather than toilets. Research has indicated that the virus can spread through faecal matter, and this isn’t restricted to the current pandemic alone.

Coming Back To Swachh Bharat

In an article for Mint, Manu Joseph argues that the pandemic gives us a chance to transform the country. Joseph is right, for there are many things that can be changed – right from our public distributions system (PDS) to our public transport to education to the way we handle transactions. The last few days have seen Indians order online like never before – Amazon and Flipkart have both reported a major spike in orders. With washing hands and sanitising them being a major message being spread to remain clean, this author has observed small stores, vegetable vendors and others in Mumbai – a city known for running on cash – adopt digital payments over Paytm and the Unified Payments Interface (UPI). In education, Quartz reports that education technology (ed-tech) will witness a major growth. As for public transport, images of people stuffed like sardines in trains and buses while being required to maintain a social distance seals the deal.

While each of these needs to be dealt with separately, the one single thing that needs to be tackled with on a priority basis is cleanliness and hygiene.

Starting Small, Going Big

The ban proposed by Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath on gutka and paan masala is the first step towards a cleaner environment. The state’s chief secretary Awnish Awasthi mentioned spitting in the open after their consumption as a key motivator behind the ban. By banning the products, the government is making it easier for sanitation workers.

Any plan towards hygiene and cleanliness will have to be divided into two phases – a short term one and a long term one.

In the short term, Swachh Bharat for urban areas needs to be carried out on a war footing. This includes proper sewerage facilities across the municipal limits of all major cities. To give an example, in 2013, the Bengaluru Water Supply and Sewerage Board said that the city would require a minimum of ten years   for each household to have a water and sewerage pipeline. Such projects need to be fast-tracked at both the Central and State Level.  Solid waste management needs to be improved across cities along with efficient garbage disposal systems. Redevelopment of slums too needs to be taken care of. It is disheartening that Asia’s second largest slum is located in Dharavi, Mumbai and despite the best efforts by former chief minister Devendra Fadnavis, the project did not take off. While bans on gutka and similar products are welcome, municipal corporations need to focus on tackling the menace of spitting, urination and defecation in public. Psychology plays an important role in this – a dirty space will attract more dirt, and cleaning it remains the only solution.

In the long term, the concept of cleanliness and hygiene needs to be given a heavier presence in our education system. Just like Swachh Sarvekshan gets cities into competition, each individual resident needs to take pride in their personal cleanliness, and this can only be achieved by ensuring its active presence in their education. Students must be taught not to litter, spit or defecate in public, and to segregate biodegradable waste from non-biodegradable waste – a crucial requirement that will also eventually bring down pollution in the National Capital Region. We also need to slowly shed our consumerist mindset and return to our roots of reduce, reuse and recycle as compared to the current use and throw model.

The Swachh Bharat Mission has a lot of impact on every individual present in society. Right from the poorest of the poor to the richest of the rich, everyone is impacted in various ways by the lack of cleanliness of public spaces and the associated risk of disease.

Bringing In More Innovation

When SBM was launched, it eventually saw a series of apps that helped users locate the nearest public toilet. Eventually tech giant Google too jumped on the bandwagon with a massive list on their Maps app. The next major innovation saw unmanned public toilets such as the eToilet being developed.  Eventually, we might someday be able to offer cleaner toilets on long-distance buses as well.

On the matter of plastic waste, with the Railways’ setting up water vending machines that sell water for one-third the cost of a water bottle at major railway stations, we can slowly look at phasing out water bottles from railway stations.

With so many problems to be solved – from solid waste to landfills – the scope of innovation is endless. It is here that the Centre must consider giving focus to these sectors under the various StartUp India and the Atal Innovation Mission to get more research and development flowing in these sectors. The global pandemic might have sent our economy into a turmoil, but its silver lining is that when we emerge from this pandemic, we can build ourselves better and stronger.

This article was originally written in March 2020 and submitted to an online publication who decided not to run it. I’d really appreciate it if you could back me up by maybe becoming a patron?

Become a Patron!

Loading

Flattr this!

Did You Know That Triple-Decker Buses Actually Existed?

We’ve all read Harry Potter. We’ve all seen the movies as well. In the third book, The Prisoner of Azkaban, we are introduced to the Knight Bus, a triple-decker bus. However, this variety of buses aren’t just a figment of a fantasy writer’s (I’m talking about J. K. Rowling) imagination, but did exist, but just not in the form that we’ve imagined.

Presenting, the triple-decker bus!

Built in 1932, the first triple-decker bus was made in Italy. While not much is known about the manufacturer, it ran between Rome and Tivoli and carried 88 passengers. The third level was essentially a smoking compartment and the bus had space for 440 pounds (200 kg) of luggage and space for dogs. It was 33.5 feet long and 11 feet wide and had a speed of 28 miles per hour (45 km per hour).

You can read an excerpt about it from the August 1932 issue of Popular Mechanics on Google Books by clicking here.

The Original Triple Decker
The Original Triple Decker

According to the Museum of Hoaxes, a second such bus was designed in the 1950s by the General American Aerocoach Corporation. This bus was similar to its Italian counterpart, that is the third level wasn’t much of a level. Here is an image of that bus.

GAAC's Triple Decker
GAAC’s Triple Decker

Fun fact, a video was uploaded on YouTube with a picture of a BEST Triple-Decker. This was essentially a Double-Decker photoshopped to have a third level. The uploader was obviously a prankster for they claim to have been shocked when they saw it outside Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus and shot a video of it. (This was in 2013).

The closest we’ve ever got to making a real Triple-Decker bus, was the Knight Bus in Harry Potter. It was made by taking apart the upper deck of a London AEC Regent III RT bus and grafting it atop another such bus. Below is a picture by Robert Clarke.

HIMG 2739 (8066424860)

In 1926, a German magazine called Echo Continental which was the trade magazine of German automobile parts manufacturer Continental AG published a picture of a triple-decker bus. Sadly, it was on 1 April. Here is an image of that bus.

Triple Decker Bus from Echo Continental
Triple Decker Bus from Echo Continental

So, will we ever see a Triple Decker Bus? Maybe. You never know, but someday, we might just see one. Till then, you can have fun on a Double Decker bus.

Also Read: Double Fun with a Double Decker

Featured Image: Screengrab of a fake Triple Decker Bus

When you step out, whether it is in a double-decker bus or a triple-decker bus, do take reasonable precautions.

Loading

Flattr this!

Stuck At Home? Try The BEST Quarantine Challenge

With a new Quarantine Bingo challenge floating around Instagram, it wasn’t long before transit freaks joined the game. There are numerous such challenges floating around. The Railfanning group so far has the maximum number of challenges.

Here is the BEST challenge!

Are you game? Go for it. Download the image, mark out whatever you’ve achieved and share it on your Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, Whatsapp, everywhere. 🙂

The BEST Quarantine Challenge
The BEST Quarantine Challenge

A special thanks to Pakaj for sharing this image with me on Instagram. You can follow Pankaj @_____pankaj____16.

Note: Picture Credits: Rupak Dhakate. You can follow Rupak on Instagram @mlv.rupak.

Loading

Flattr this!