Satire: In Absence Of Depot, Metro 3 To Run BEST Buses In Tunnel

BARC tunnel on the Eastern Freeway

In a stunning revelation, it has been revealed that the current Maharashtra government may consider running buses in the tunnels of Mumbai Metro’s famed Line 3 project.

Without the controversial SEEPZ depot, the metro cannot be operational since it won’t have a place to park trains and carry out their maintenance. In order to sort this mess out, the government has decided that they will run BEST buses in the pair of 33.5km long tunnels.

Confirming the developments, an official on the condition of anonymity said that BEST had already been running buses in tunnels for almost a decade and this would be nothing new. “We’ve run buses on the Eastern Freeway, they’ve taken the flyover and the tunnels, what is new?”, he said.

He added that while initial proposals involve letting buses drive into the tunnels at the Sariput Nagar ramp in Jogeshwari, there are plans to set up additional ones at Bandra-Kurla Complex and the Airport as well. The government may also set up a crane to lower the bus into the tunnel so buses need not run only in them, he added. The plan is apparently to run the mini-bus fleet in the tunnel, from what we gathered.

When asked, where the idea came from, he directed the questions to another officer, who on the condition of anonymity as well, gave us an answer. “With everything operating at half capacity right now, some of us looked for other ways to spend our time. I opened Google Earth to see the Attari-Wagah border and then continued on that road to Lahore where I saw a BRTS on a flyover. We then went for lunch, and when I came back, one of my colleagues showed me Elon Musk’s Boring Company”, he said.

You see, Lahore BRTS has a long elevated stretch. If they run a bus on that, why can’t we run a bus in our metro tunnels? We’ve run buses inside the tunnel on the Eastern Freeway?

The officer

When asked about the inspiration from Elon Musk, he said that Musk’s plan was the first to have tunnels under a city and run regular vehicles in them. When pointed out that Musk had a change of heart in 2018 and decided to allow public transport through the system, he responded with “That’s why we’re planning on running buses in them”.

When asked about what would happen about the 31 trains ordered from Alstom, we were told “Jab aaega, tab dekha jaega” (We’ll see about it when they arrive). A third official even dropped a comment that they may be sold to the Mumbai Suburban Rail. We don’t know if he realises that they run on different track gauges.

Whatever, happens, let us hope that Mumbai finally gets the public transport it deserves.

Note: To know how a crane would be used to lift a bus in and out, see this video on how a crane is being used to lift a tractor off the metro viaduct.

Please note: This article is satire and should be treated as such.

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If you intend to step out, whether to board on minibus or metro, please wear a mask, carry sanitizer and maintain social distancing.

Also Read:

Stuck In Traffic? Here’s Elon Musk’s Boring Way To Move Vehicles

What The Boring Company Now Has In Store For Mass Transit

Featured image: Sitting in a BEST A-8 Express (yes, Purple Faeries) through the BARC tunnels on the Eastern Freeway.

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Author: Srikanth

BEST? Bus! Vroom, *pulls bellpull* Hi, I'm Srikanth. I'm a freelance media fellow with a fascination for buses, toll plazas, fire trucks and drones.

4 thoughts on “Satire: In Absence Of Depot, Metro 3 To Run BEST Buses In Tunnel”

  1. Infact, there are chances that the restaurants and shops in the underground stations may start ops before the actual metro starts.
    They should allow people to take a stroll in the tunnels post having a meal!

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